my body is a machine
lexapro night 1
taken at 20:00
20:46
feeling very productive, can't look in the mirror. face feels numb and small and cute. hands and feet are very red, probably blood rushing to them. feeling excessive amount of energy and thinking about all the things i can accomplish. very positive attitude. headache decreased. a little bit of tension in neck and heart. Teeth feel weird. Want to sleep with nightlight. will update on sleep/dreams.
1/17
08:06
Ended up not needing nightlight. Hands still feel numb and still feel energetic, was able to sleep and had normal dreams/ nothing out of ordinary. Took a little longer to sleep but still fell asleep around midnight. Teeth were starting to ache but no longer hurts.
lexapro night 2
taken 20:00
20:30
only feet feel blood-rushy, dry mouth and eyes. still energetic, a bit out of my mind, face is still small and cute. still can't look at myself for too long, starts to feel unreal and weird.
1/18
12:06
head is starting to hurt but not as much as before, had difficulty sleeping last night because of weird breathing, stomach upset, still managed to fall asleep though. had a nightmare but wasn't too bad, just about a disease on my skin. teeth were aching, still ache a little.
lexapro night 3
taken 20:00
20:42
feet still blood-rushy, headache gone, peeing a lot, a bit of uncomfortableness in my uterus/bladder??, pain in the left side of my neck, so far okay
1/19
12:26
teeth hurt a little, stomach hurt a little, nothing crazy. had a nightmare but was just about someone flirting with my mom, nothing crazy, used to have those when i was little. a little dizzy but just from rushing around a lot.
lexapro night 4
taken 20:00
20:15
felt like i couldn't breathe for a second, but still okay. Stinging in neck.
1/20
09:56
feeling okay for the most part, just mild headache. had a dream that my roommate caught me blasting music, again nothing horrible or scary. got very anxious going outside today.
lexapro night 5
taken 20:00
20:14
lips feel numb, stomach hurts a little.
1/21
heart area stung a lot, headache. lots of pressure in nose, makes it a little hard to breathe.
Lexapro night 6
Taken 20:04
Feel a little energetic, brain feels tight nothing crazy yet
the holy grail
oh holy saint
how it comes down on me
and i , i am nothing
i could never be enough
this body is just a shell,
a machine we live in.
and i know that now
my spirit
my spirit
sanctify me
on your holy grail
O Lord
pull my soul awake.
Sun. 1/19/2025
Think about the little girl, with that dog.
Let's be curious about that.
Mon. 1/20/2025
No, I need a lexapro and a book.
I've gotten used to not being able to eat what everybody else eats.
maybe i can get myself a dessert soon.
like a little cake.
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