the art of a fragile heart


 Wed. 2/12/2025

most of this day didn't feel real. 

everything was moving, shifting to the side. i wish i could pull my brain out and stomp it to pieces. 



so if i stayed, it's because i love you

why cannot i write.

we all hurt, and it hurts so bad. we all hurt, and it hurts so bad.

heaven come down. heaven come down.

lift me up and take me out of here, and please don't make it hurt.


how he hurt me, how every man hurt me.

how the only person who hasn't ever hurt me doesn't have a penis.

and what am i supposed to do?

don't take me, don't burn me, don't heal me.

let me simmer, let me seethe.

let me boil and fester within myself, i will make it harder to breathe.


you take me around the parking lot, lights spinning in your eyes.

and i muster up the courage to stand in the face of it all.

your head, spinning

knees deep in the green green grass

if only i wasn't scared of you

and thank my god i will never be


saliva on the carpet

if only i knew

what summer school would lead me to

a halt in the earth

for just that little second

your hand wrapping around my skin


enclose me in nothing,

rape me

enclose my body in multitudes of the butterflies that you love and envy

the curve of the arms that you grope and lust over

the false curve of the waist

the starved stomach

painkillers in my veins

is this what love feels like


love me, love me, love me


kill me softly, then watch me grow


an ode to strawberries

little pockets of seeds that pop in your mouth

blushing with red

bleeding down my chuck taylors 

sour sweetness

the seeds meet in the middle 

im not afraid of you anymore



Mon. 3/3/2025

zurich is stained somewhere in oregon

somewhere in oregon

some one has my heart

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