your eyes, they turn me

 Mon. 3/3/2025

i want to spend my afternoons making out with strawberries and reading my old writings while listening to jeff buckley.

Sun. 3/16/2025

oh, to have a lover

running in the snow

as the rain falls at dawn

carry me

things i break apart 

your touch, your clit

it could've never been real

driving that one night

picking [blank] up from the airport

i stared at your forehead

i could just kiss it

i could just reach it

like something from a movie

far away from everything

i fell

driving home in the dark that night

i fell

Wed. 3/26/2025

rotting away.

taking pills to make it easier.

living the same day over and over, an endless bend.

the faint taste of what i once had, the harsh reality knocking at the doorstep.

i will never ever learn, but maybe one day i will be free.

Sun. 4/6/2025

maybe i was never meant to love somebody.

thank God i don't need to.

maybe my dad got plastic surgery for a reason, so he wouldn't end up with the features that I did.

as long as my mom can look at my face and call me beautiful and not fat, i'm okay.

Thu. 4/10/2025

when i think of god i just keep thinking about the green grass and trees in oregon, and the wind blowing the leaves down, and god saying, rest, rest, rest.

your eyes, they turn me

on this day, one year ago, i was on my bed, yearning for him.

and maybe people will see this one day, maybe they won't.

all the effort they put into me.

and now i've come full circle.

crying for the best life i've ever had, the high i had that didn't feel so false at the moment

now, in my room, in the dark

i fucking loved him, and it hurts even though now i don't. i haven't stayed up till 3am in months.

i need to get the fuck out of here. i need to leave.

combining my body with his

combining my body with his

combining my body with his

i forgot that i was made to feel

to bend with the moon

i think i'm becoming used to the medicine

carry me softly to bed, watch me weep